


Flirting 101 (OR: How to be a Heartbreaker)

by skybean



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Bad Puns, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 11:45:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3935605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skybean/pseuds/skybean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>de-anon from kink meme.  Prompt: "Haise thinks he's a suave Casanova with his puntastic innuendos and everyone else watches the train wreck that is Sasaki Haise.  Mutsuki just makes things worse by unknowingly flirting back."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flirting 101 (OR: How to be a Heartbreaker)

It's almost embarrassing to listen to Sasaki-san try and flirt. There's puns, and batted eyelashes, and all sorts of other things that make him look as if he's come out of some sort of really bad 5:30 PM over-the-top ditzy romance sitcom, or worse—one of those five dollar romance paperbacks found at a twenty-four-hour convenience store, sold near the lighters (and probably the regrets too, but you usually pick those up on your way out the door, as opposed to them being a physical object one can purchase.)

There are even moments where he sounds like one of Saiko's dating roms—and those are generally the moments he's busted out the puns and the winking, and the blatant staring at the poor person's lips. Mutsuki's nearly positive that Sasaki-san thinks he's some sort of grade-A Cassanova—a regular Romeo, even, but he isn't, and it's the single most embarrassing thing Mutsuki's ever had the misfortune to watch in his life.

And Mutsuki has had to sit through many an embarrassing thing, never mind watching Sassan borderline heckle poor Touka-chan for a few moments. Mutsuki's half hoping she'll kick them both out of :re, but as she ends up walking away after handing their orders over, Mutsuki ends up sighing, knowing fully well that she won't.

“Ah—Sasaki-san,” He manages to get out after a few moments, doing his best to try and meet his superiors eyes, even as they land on his mouth instead. Mutsuki sighs for a moment, before he shakes his head, “You ought to be nicer to that poor girl. She doesn't need to be on the receiving end of your pickup lines.”

Haise blinks as he redirects his gaze from Touka-chan to Mutsuki's own, and in that moment, Mutsuki's absolutely terrified that maybe he said the wrong thing—that perhaps he had been a bit too bold, a bit too blunt, and his mentor was going to reprimand him.

Mutsuki couldn't believe what he heard come out of Haise's mouth.

“Wha—” He can feel the heat going to his face quickly, and Mutsuki can feel it go up to his ears as well and his face goes red—redder than a stop sign, and he's buried his face into his hands, looking at any place but Haise for a good moment or two, before he looks back over, and says in response, “No!”

Of course he wasn't jealous!

“It's just—” Mutsuki trails off, before he promptly says, “I'm sure you embarrassed her, is all. And...” He trails off again, swallowing nervously, before he says, keeping his gaze pointedly focused on Sasaki's mouth, in order to not look at the amused expression his mentor is getting.

“I don't think she likes you like that,” Mutsuki sighs, “I just—I don't think she likes you that way at all. Not...” Not the way I do, he nearly says, but Mutsuki doesn't, because that's a whole other bundle of worms (and he can almost hear Saiko shrieking in the back of his head 'You kissed Maman?' and kissing someone who's being perceived as a mother figure is not something Mutsuki wants to do, thank you very much, have a nice day—) that he would prefer to not open.

“It's just...” Mutsuki swallows and pulls on his shirt for a moment, before he takes a sip of the drink in front of him, “She doesn't seem to get lost in your eyes... I don't think she notices just how you get, when you're engrossed in a book all on your own. The way that you seem to still, like you don't want to disturb the world you're lost in, and how you'll run a hand through your hair when you're really into the book, as if you're connecting with it.

“How when you smile—really smile—your eyes crinkle up at the corners, and when you really laugh, and not that fake dad-laugh you do, it's the most pure sound I think I've ever heard...”

Mutsuki sighs again, and then he goes red and chugs a large amount of coffee, pulling down on his shirt once more, before he looks away from Sasaki, swallowing the coffee, before coughing, because it's still hot, and oh no, he's getting it everywhere and—

—and Haise's laughing at him?

“Are you flirting with me, Mutsuki-kun?” Haise asks, leaning over the table to help wipe some of the coffee off of Mutsuki, “I'm flattered.” It's light, teasing, more than enough—plenty easy for Mutsuki to say no, he's not, and to tell Haise to drop it.

He doesn't.

And so Haise winks at him, and proceeds to say, “Because, you know, that was pretty good! Better than me, even, Tooru-kun. But you know,” And here comes an eyebrow waggle, and Mutsuki knows it's coming, but he doesn't try to stop Haise at all, “If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.”

And then Mutsuki busts up laughing, because somehow, the pun is even worse when focusing on him.


End file.
